THEIR GONG LOOMS

In their flowing ‘Agbada’ and ‘Babaringa’, they appeal to our emotions. With doctored and recycled cum upgraded version  of their mundane propaganda, they rant confidently  in admirable poise in the guise of the martyr we so passionately awaits. Their draconian style is legendary as they continually subject the masses to their whims and caprices.  

Very skilled tactician they are, that they marshal their battalions of fellow gluttons out of their ever-tinted air-conditioned convoy to add spice to their marauding tongues. They deliver almost with pin-point accuracy their infinite political gibberish. Thoroughbred political chamfers practicing nepotism-laden politics. Perhaps we have forgotten that an overly-starched shirt doesn’t make an ugly man handsome as he unfortunately remains same. So what is with the change of cloth in the vein hope that military rule has been abolished. Hmm, little wonder they dare not raise their hands too high to wave at their unsuspecting electorates what am I saying sef?, supposed ‘electorate’.

Making promises according to the dictates of their immuned prowess. They have their military attire underneath their gracefully flowing ‘agbada’. Ehen, now I know why they dropped the khaki for ‘agbada’, it has enough space for all the loots their mights and guts can incredibly garner. It only takes the possession of a telepathic mind to see their default built or how do one explain that Nigeria has been recycling leaders since independence. Most of the past military leaders had their barrels dropped for pens that does nothing but loots ‘kudi’ away from the nation’s treasury. How hopeful they still make us feel, we always relish attaining position of leadership. Aren’t the youths the leaders of tomorrow?. Not when they are retired but not tired.
Still they shout “democracy o” and sycophants habitually roars in approval. The crumbs left of the nation’s coffers we doggedly await. They know nothing makes us go emotional than the sight of a well-minted naira note. Some ‘aka-gum’ parts with just an  ‘Ahmadu Bello’ depending on the level of penury of their catchment area. I shake my head, you can imagine the sheer stinginess even when at ‘our mercy’ o. A complete travesty of human worth and dignity.

Come to think of it, it’s baffling how they engage the services of our youths, our celebrated music icons to serenade our sanity into oblivion with a cacophony of sweet politically-motivated lyrical  rubbish in the name of campaign and we impulsively shake our sweaty behind to their ephemeral whims. In the Yoruba parlance, ‘bi ogun ile o pa eni, ti ode o le pani’ (if the war within doesn’t kill us, war from beyond can’t). That’s a case of us doing ourselves. Youths still being used to cajole youths into pledging loyalty.
Their manifestos are laced with ‘-tions’. Revitalization, Civilization, Sensitization, Liquidation and all other ‘-tions’ they can remember and ‘waoo’ us with big grammar. Not surprising the country is at a ‘-tion’(shun) and our plights rightly shunned. Maybe we speak too many grammars that confuses the Angels saddled with the task of changing the nation’s fortune, hence their decision to grant only the suffixed ‘-tion’ and not its entirety.

It’s saddening that in-spite of this lingering disappointments and perpetual poverty that’s threatening to make Nigeria its capital, we still give ourselves out to be used as their weapons of mass destruction while they hurriedly cart away their kids to school and live abroad. Have you no integrity and sense of pride and dignity?. Even the bible says a “good name is better than sacrifice”, guess where a paltry sum is assured, to hell with the good name abi?. Tell it to your kids or future kids who would come to take you as his hero or role model how you had contributed your quota to the shameful abysmal plunge of the country and get a remarkable applause for being a hall of fame thug….Fool!.

I’m sure you don’t know opposition candidates dine and wine after elections. Once said of two strong candidates vying for the Governorship seat of a state in Nigeria, they left for an exclusive bar to celebrate after results had been announced. And there you are, slicing and maiming yourself with swords, cutlasses and guns for a few naira. Why the insane fights then?, Why the deliberate attempt to crowd the hospital corridors/wards and increase the soaring number of orphans and handicaps on the streets?….cursed money!.
Heard an average American wakes up and says “God bless America”. They admonished us to follow suit in the same manner. Chai!, may posterity hopefully have not the decency to forgive them all.

How can I say “God bless Nigeria?” when I’m busy dodging potholes and sometimes I just resign to fate and choose the most shallow among an array of potholes. How can I? when a sudden feel of excitement at sighting the presence of power supply in my house gives way for a sharp reverberating anger at noticing the light has been taken just when I’m about turning the key in my lock. How can I? when I’m made to solicit the service of a candle light to study in the University and earn a decent degree amidst grueling conditions.

How can I? when getting a job is still hard despite the Metusellah years in the University, no thanks to constant strikes.
How can I? when I couldn’t  secure a job because I’m a little above the required age. Ask the ‘strikees’and the ‘strikers’. How can I? when a close friend of mine gained admission into the medical school the same year we finished secondary school, 2005 and he isn’t still close to becoming a certified Doctor and this is 2014, quite preposterous. Yet school fees keeps sky-rocketing. How can I? when the youths are left at their own mercy, struggling parents paying for sessions spent outside classrooms and renewing house rents in schools when strike gets called off.

How can I? when Jos Plateau state Nigeria which used to pride herself as Nigeria’s little London while I yet grow has now been turned to an abattoir where humans gets slaughtered at the hands of brain-washed Islamic sects, Boko haram. How can I? when workers gets sacked with a regularity that’s synonymous  with the goal-poaching ability of Cristiano Ronaldo and if lucky, get paid an undermining gratuity for decades of dedicated service. All because the  CEO has weakened the particular institution through siphoning of funds. The staff bears the brunt, they change the English to make it sound consoling. From sack, they call it down-sizing or retrenchment. The CEO gets away with his loot after a little noise.

How can I? when most female graduates gets employed not on merit but rather for their ‘bedmatics skills’. How can I? when my country is blessed with abundant mineral resources but her citizens are subjected to abject poverty because the nation’s revenue alert beeps only in the mobile phones of some ‘cabals’. How can I? when we embrace wastefulness and frivolities with delight. Making unconstitutional allocations for the office of the first lady and celebrating day light robbery. Special advisers, Senior special advisers, Deputy special assistants, Deputy special advisers. Infinite offices all with different appellations, exacerbating an already paralyzing economy. How can I? when I see the supposed future leaders of the nation go to their primary and secondary schools barefooted. GEJ claimed to have walked without shoes, perhaps it’s enough reason to replicate his woes in the 21st century so they can hopefully become President someday. How can I? when our beautiful enigmatic African beauties that gives the devil hiccups have to wear handkerchiefs and catapults in place of decent bra and pants respectively. All to seduce men for a few naira notes just to alleviate their poverty.

YET, I’m expected to show patriotism and say “God bless Nigeria” when I wake up, with an empty belly?. Ha!, were it not for my good moral upbringing, would have asked Sango to strike them dead…..sorry I meant God jare. Is it not in this country that a politician’s son was asked to state his most embarrassing or sad moment and he said it was the day he was served a food meant for dinner at lunch. They dare not ask some of us that question, else their would be a call for “extra sheet”. We will write extensively because oral narration can’t sum it all up.
Ehen, that reminds me. I don’t know why we can’t go primitive in the way we swear for our leaders. Not again, swear-in our leaders rather. Atleast, necessity is the mother of invention and since that’s the case, I see nothing bad in asking any leader being sworn-in to bite the cutlass in reverence to ‘Ogun’, the god of Iron or engange the services of ‘Sango’ which seems to be less diplomatic in his duty disposition, he does it ‘sharp sharp’ . They should be made to swear on their life and their family’s. I tender an unreserved ‘apology-less’ appeal if my suggestions looks crude. I’m sure someone admires my pragamatism.

An injustice would have been done to us if Nigerians are sent to hell fire on the day of judgement. We already had our baptismal of fire. How worst can it get I ask myself. May the Almighty atleast give us that preferential treatment.
Lest I forget, don’t let us be fooled by their new political game. Defection of some aggrieved People Deceiving People members to form alliance with the opposition. They know what they are doing, their perceived grudge MIGHT be a calculated attempt to make sure they have strong hold in every nook of the country. Don’t say I didn’t say so when they start accepting their defected members back, days after the election. It’s a political gimmick called ‘Restrategisation’. Now their gong looms and they will as usual come out with their umbrella and brooms signature. They will claim to know where the shoe pinches as usual. What we ask for is good governance and a stop to the recycling of old goons with nothing but obsolete ideas. If they can’t have enough decency to do this, let the youths in their wisdom resist the temptation to participate in all forms of political thuggery. We need a scintillating prognosis for this nation, not on the pages of newspapers but substantially practiced. Enough is Enough.

Well, at this juncture. Let me take a cue from Idi Amin’s statement when he said “There is freedom of speech but freedom after speech?, I don’t guarantee”. It’s a season of open letters but everyone can’t be an ‘Owu’ Chief. I think common sense must take precedence when it has to do with politics before I say something and my oga at the top will say something else.  Let me finish up with my Bread and kola nut before someone in ‘camo’ starts screaming “take dressing !” at me at the guard room. Doubt if I can bare the frog jumps, been awhile I left secondary school.
May God have mercy!!!.