Love has a wide spectrum of definition,mostly induced by what we perceive it to be.
It's always easy to proclaim love,the way we practise it today almost always negates its true meaning.
A lady catches your fantasy(either genuinely or has dictated by your erection).As a guy truly in love,'eureka!' becomes your theme word,'Oh what an Angel' and the next thing,you go around swashbuckling to your friends about this 'heaven sent' of yours.
You rant on with how good looking she is and so on.At that moment,your world would suddenly change and you would feel that your essence of being alive is gradually manifesting itself.
Having gone through the rigours of convincing her to be yours coupled with the 'sweet nonsense' that must be inevitably said ,she finally gives in to your proposal,finally saving you from the torture that had been going on in your mind...you pop the champagne!
Relationship has started and so the journey begins.There and then,it all starts and looks rosy,your heart skips on hearing her voice on phone.She becomes your first and last priority(still on a genuine lover).Hardly would a minute go by that you wont call her up.
Then one day!......things starts changing,you start seeing the intolerable attitudes she has,attitudes which had always been there but were just in hibernation.Then,arguments becomes frequent,quarrels starts defining your once matured conversations and chats.
If you are an extrovert in nature,you tell your friends(friends with more experience) for the sole purpose of getting advised by them.
Surely,you are bound to hear more than you bargain for but something in you tells you which should be more useful.
You call her up(an attribute i've found out to be a girl's,only a small percentage of guys look beyond there pride and pick the phone).Conversation goes smoothly and after much arguments,past attitudes are vowed to be formatted and the sail continues.
Ideally,there is no perfect relationship and being two different individuals coming from different backgrounds,such quarrels are bound to happen.Theory cant take the place of practical,so you might not know some other things about her until you get intimate.
The relationship persists but quarrels,rather than reduce gradually becomes the norm.Either of you becomes the 'sustainer' of the relationship,holding firmy to its pillars all alone so it wont crash on its own weight(relationship,as perceived here is synonymous to carrying a load ideally meant for two individuals....guess its resultant effect when only one person carries it) while the other plays the 'egomaniac',doesnt seem to be moved by the other's pleas and frantic efforts at making peace.You might even find out that you are getting stucked to a 'parasite' if all she ehos is 'give',never satisfied with whatever you seem to do in pleasing her
If the guy happens to be the 'sustainer',you feel your pride is being challenged later when you realise the role you have been playing and then you realise all you have been doing isnt different from digging a hole around where you are standing....the further you dig,the more your height reduces because the further you would go deep into the hole(you ego and pride is being reduced here).Though you may not have minded for the sake of love but when it's becoming a stationed role,you query yourself about where these leaves you...you are being taken for granted and the 'egomaniac' is deriving pleasure from always seeing you pick up the phone to beg.Your relationship is already living on a borrowed time,you just havent realised it.
Since my emphasis has indirectly being on your girl's character,let me at this point use a friend as an example.
He was always complaining about his girl friend's stubborness and pride and her refusal to realise that these things has to change since he had intended to marry her.He complained about how he had always been the one making the amendments when infact an ideal 'wife'(used wife because he wasnt seeing her as his girlfriend but his wife) ought to be the one doing that.
Well,the relationship crashed due to irreconciliable differences,you might say he wasnt patient enough but dont judge until life deals you the same misfortune,then you can imagine the pulse.
You wonder why she just cant be whom you want her to be forgetting no man can change a fellow man.
It dawns on you that you had been carried away by your emotions,you hadnt taken your time to study your supposed 'future wife'.
My point is,dont live on the fantasy that a girl would change when you get married.She would only succeed in making your life successfully miserable.
Remember a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.
Try curbing her rude,stubborn and parasitic nature while you are dating,dont live on hope.
Quit while you CAN!
To be fair to the femaledom,it do happen otherwise too but i had intentionally narrowed this write-up based on what i have seen,besides it's different strokes for different folks,everyone has a story.
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